Take time to smell the roses.
Starting off this new post with a little quip that reminds me to be present.
A few weeks ago, right around Thanksgiving, I was having brunch at my friend’s Fuza and we were chopping it up. About life, relationships, careers, the works.
After, I turned 5 with the blog I had all these plans ready to go but I stalled. Part of it was because I started doubting myself and questioning everything. Especially the why part if it. Why do I do this? Why do I invest it? Why do I write on here? Doubt? I brought the Why topic up and my friend Steph suggested I should write about it. aa-ha!
They were so many why’s I just wanted to skip to Z and get over it. I always believe that when this questions arise in life. You have to find the answers, avoiding it will not answer anything and it will make you doubt yourself even more.
I tried as humanly possible to avoid those questions. To go inside of me and pull the answers. The truth is sometimes hard to swallow. I was scared I would answer myself and end up not like that answer.
In avoiding, I did what I love to do best. Read new books, re-read old ones, flip through magazines, watch netflix, Ozarks anyone? I even started binging on OZ - the prison show from 1999. It was serious. It’s amazing how easy it is to block things you don’t want to deal with. Is that another definition of procrastination?
Now that I think about it, it really is it. Like that one time I knew I had to create a garment but watched Tv, cleaned, hit up a friend for a drink. Or that one time I had to deal with something, then I push it to the last agenda of the day.
Tackling uncomfortable truths is not fun. I am more than happy to delay that reality but the fact it, it is right there staring at you. Like the elephant in the room that needs to be addressed or like the stinky fish in the kitchen than needs to be taken out. No matter how hard you try to febreeze the house, melt scented wax, sage, use a sorts of wall plugins and scented candles, the fish is still stinking up the house. Even if you shut your eyes real tight, the elephant is still there. Comfy as can be.
So I went interior, used my non traditional methods of mediation to talk to self. When I say non traditional, I mean just that. Not sitting cross- legged and chanting oms but doing that thing that gets me in the flow state. This did not entail reading. Reading has always been my greatest form of escapism. Go to another person’s world and let your imagination go at it. Stare. Uninvolved.
My mediation entails a-lot of involvement. I use the gym as one, my regular workouts are so cleansing it’s beyond. Running was another one, every time my foot gets in front of another, more answers open up. And finally painting or sewing. My mind was in such a flow state that when the answers popped up. I was like aaahh haa! You been here the entire time.
So back to my answers, why do I do this?
One I am very passionate about it. This is a great time to share our narratives. I grew up seeing magazines and images that had no one like me. They shared ideals of how things should be, how to dress but I never felt like it was for me. Most black creatives now are sharing their narratives and it’s a beautiful thing to see. I love it.
Second, we all have stories to tell. My hope is that someone out there will be inspired to share your stories, you do not know how it will touch someone else.
Three, writing this in itself is healing. I discover myself over and over every-time I jot a post down, create or curate content, I too learn something. It’s like the more I share, the more I discover. It’s freaking awesome.
And finally, because when you are handed a gift by the most high, you don’t stare at it. You reach for it, say thank you and use it to the best of your abilities.
I am grateful, so grateful for this platform everyday and despite the questions, the moments of self- doubt which are totally human, the anxiety, the turbulent storm that this process may be, I stick with it. Storms eventually break that’s why I love to say trust the process.
It’s year 5 and I felt this great platform needed a little rebranding. This year my one goal for the blog was to have beautiful visuals. I am blessed to have connected with individuals who have been able to translate my ideas or visions for a look into stunning imagery. The universe has a way of responding to us that never ceases to amaze me. That’s how I met Jessica, my neighbour down the street and my current photographer.
With re-branding of the site, the visuals have become the focal point. The site is user friendly and now you can even scroll to a 2014 post without clicking gazzilion times. I love this new look and I hope you will too.
Thank you my dear reader for stopping by. For my new readers, welcome to a space where I share this journey.
For this look, we ended up doing a night shoot since nightfall is upon us by 3:30pm. There are alot of holiday parties going on currently and I get the chance to play up with looks you have seen before but in different way.
We chose the bodega because there is one in almost every corner of New York City and I walk by one constantly. In the name of being busy or staring at the phones, we tend to forget to be present. To look around and be grateful of where you are in life and the things that have brought you here. Now. today. So stop and smell the roses, experience the beauty of life.
Heels: Prabal Gurung
Scarf & Clutch: Zara