Just when we thought winter was beyond us and spring was strolling in, a winter storm shows up unannounced. Ughh! The awe of that first snowfall dissipates so fast leaving me whining every time I hear the word "snow".
Earlier this week before the snow came down on us I had planned on having a beautiful shoot done at an idyllic location of choice. Everything was ready, my clothes, the accesories, location was a go from the management...everyyyyythannnggg!
Then the day I head out to my shoot, the train has major delays, major, then because of the delays, it starts going local. At the back of my mind I knew this local business will make me late.
I dislike being tardy. It gets on my nerves.
I figured I might as well hop on a cab, and I will probably be at my location faster. Time is of the essence here. I do so and a few blocks later, traffic is at a stand still. Construction!!
My goodness, I felt my insides tightening into knots. The traffic had become a parking lot, there I was stuck in the back of a cab, eyes wide like an emoji. I almost wished I had super human powers and fly to my location. The clock was ticking, I sent my photographer a quick text stating that I was running a little behind while my cab driver tried to convince me the traffic was not that bad, it would probably open up in a couple of blocks.
I wanted to wrap his optimism around me like a nice warm cloak but the stand still traffic only made my heart beat faster and my stomach sink deeper than the construction hole they were drilling up ahead. Ughh!!
Then the cars started moving, at a snail's pace. I glanced at my phone and time just kept on. Traffic eventually opened up but the damage had been done. I urged my cab driver to step on it like Vin diesel on Fast and the furious. He tried to be fast, I was getting furious, at myself and the world, wondering why my planned out day was going to shit!
I eventually got to my shoot location, thirty seven minutes later. My photographer was scheduled to be elsewhere so we had reschedule my planned out amazing shoot day. When the cab dropped me off, I stood on the street looking like a lost person.
I could have woken up earlier. Got on the train sooner, could have stayed on the train to avoid the traffic, I could have..... I talked to myself trying not to be mad at myself since sometimes you can not control everything. Things do happen that are outside your control and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I tend to be extremely hard on myself. It can be draining sometimes. I am learning to take it easy, and take a big breath and shake it off. I called my sister who God Bless her acts as Dr.Phil since she knows me so well. I found myself walking into an art store a block up, going through aisles of brushes, canvas, art books and staring at water colors and acrylic paints just having a mental talk with self. I walked out with a palette knife and gold acrylic paint that I needed for a particular painting. Then walked into a shoe store not to far away. The day was already looking up :)
The best laid plans can sometimes take an unexpected turn. Life is like that, nothing is scripted. Things will happen beyond your control and no matter how frustrated or worried you might be, it would be better if you let it go and enjoy life. Maybe, just maybe, I was meant to buy that paint I had wanted and a pair of pretty shoes.
Ah! Letting go.
Jeans: Forever 21