TAKING TIME OFF
A Journey of Self-Reflection and Healing from Burnout
DEAR READER (This sounds like an introduction to a Bridgerton series )
After a long sojourn from this space I had cultivated for 10 years. 10!!! We are in double digit years and if you had told me this when I did my first post in 2012. I would have roared in laughter.
In hindsight, I am grateful for this blog, for the multitude of connections that happened because I took THE LEAP! For this post, I felt it was important to indicate my WHY… A YEAR AND A HALF is a long time!
What happened?
In our fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of responsibilities and commitments. As a creative individual, passionate about writing, I have always found solace in the power of words, but there came a time when the demands of my craft took a toll on my well-being. In this blog post, I want to share my personal journey of taking a year and a half off from writing due to burnout, and how it became a transformative period of self-reflection and personal growth.
Writing had always been my passion, but as the demands grew, I found myself struggling to keep up. Full time school and work. The constant pressure to produce, meet deadlines, and deliver high-quality content left me physically and mentally exhausted. Burnout slowly crept into my life, draining my creativity and leaving me feeling empty and uninspired. It became clear that I needed to step back and prioritize my well-being.
Acknowledging the need for change, I made the difficult decision to take a hiatus from writing. It was not an easy choice, as writing had been an integral part of my identity. However, I knew that in order to rebuild and recharge, I needed to distance myself from the source of my burnout. This period of time allowed me to explore other aspects of my life and engage in activities that nourished my soul. I did a couple rounds of the “Artist Way” which served as a jumpstart to channeling a spiritual path to creativity. Highly recommend this book by Julia Cameron.
Self-Reflection and Reassessment
During my time off, I embarked on a journey of self-reflection and introspection. I delved into understanding the factors that led to my burnout, examining my work habits, priorities, and personal expectations. This process helped me identify areas where I needed to set boundaries, delegate tasks, and re-evaluate my approach to my creative process. I also sought therapy and support, which played a crucial role in my healing process. Grateful for my family and friends during this period.
Rediscovering Passions
Without the pressure of writing deadlines, I had the opportunity to reconnect with activities and passions that I had neglected. I explored hobbies like knitting, watercolor, crotcheing, traveling, spent quality time with loved ones, enjoyed reading books that had been collecting dust and immersed myself in nature. Engaging in these fulfilling experiences rejuvenated my spirit and reignited the creative spark within me. It reminded me that life is not solely defined by one's profession, but by the joy and fulfillment found in various aspects of our ordinary existence.
Working on Self-Care
Taking time off allowed me to prioritize self-care and establish healthier habits. I focused on nurturing my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Regular exercise, meditation, and mindfulness practices became integral parts of my daily routine. I learned to listen to my body, set realistic expectations, and embraced moments of rest and rejuvenation. Away from the posts, I had my instagram page to highlight this journey in different posts.
The Path to Renewal
After a year and a half of introspection and self-care, I slowly eased back into writing. To my art. I approached it with a renewed perspective.
I started by journaling in my notebook which made me enjoy the joy of writing. For myself. I set realistic goals, created a healthier work-life balance, and prioritized self-compassion. The passion for writing that had once felt overwhelming now flowed naturally, and I found joy in the creative process once again.
Taking time off from writing due to burnout was a challenging yet transformative journey. It allowed me to reassess my priorities, heal from the effects of burnout, and rediscover the joys of life beyond my vocation. This period of self-reflection and self-care not only rejuvenated my creativity but also taught me the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance and setting boundaries. As I embark on this new chapter, I carry with me the invaluable lessons learned during my time of introspection, and I'm committed to nurturing my well-being as I continue to pursue my passions.
I look forward to sharing more of this journey now that we are back with more clarity. A reminder to give myself grace in these moments and to trust the process. Burnout is not a badge of honor.
Thank you my dear reader for being here. I appreciate you and a massive welcome back! 🤗🥂
Photography: Mariama Hurston
MAASAI BLANKET OVER DENIM ON DENIM
Vipi Vipi beautiful people.
Getting back to regular posting as promised.
First and foremost, I would like to extend my condolences to the families and friends of everyone who lost a special someone on the Ethiopian Airlines flight that crashed this past Sunday. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time.
Over the past year, I know of friends and loved one who have lost someone that they truly love. For me, it’s a constant reminder to embrace each day, be present, and pour my love to my dear people for tomorrow is never promised.
For today’s denim on denim look, I went with the maasai blanket and red boots as the accessories and accent color. Blue and red compliment each other beautifully and they also happen to be my two favorite colors.
I did another maasai blanket look here
The blankets are perfect as a winter scarf as they keep you warm and have a very chic vibe to it.
MAASAI BLANKET: MAASAI MARKET
JEANS: EXPRESS
BOOTS: BERSHKA
DENIM SHIRT: ZARA
EARINGS: HM
HAT & BACKPACK: ZARA
SUNNIES: RAY BANS
SIX YEAR ANNEVARSARY
This week, the blog turned 6. My goodness! Six!! If someone would have told me back then when I had just published that first post in 2012 I would be here jotting this piece, I would not have believed them.
Truth be told, I almost… almost forgot about my annevarsary. I feel like so much has happened this year that kinda shifted how I looked at things. The main one being the loss of my brother Kim.
I am still grieving. Losing my brother so suddenly, so soon, made me want to curl up in a ball and shut out the world. I don’t think there is a day that goes by without thinking about him. Shutting out the world made me sink deeper into other things. Escapism.
I think I have reread all the books on my Kindle. Books have always been my go to or gym.
Talking about gym, man - I neglected those gym dates as if they were a visit to the colonoscopist. My body felt it too. The endorphins I was used to getting post workout, the burst of new ideas all dimmed.
There is a month I did not log in on this space. This space that has been such a sanctuary, a gallery of inspiration, and a log book of words that resonated with you.
It’s after I had gotten back to Mexico at the end of August after a much needed time off, that I knew I had to pick up where I had left off.
I had pending posts, shoot ideas that I had jotted months ago that never came to fruition, the online shop, more creative channels to share these stories and low-key my psyche got affected. I had trampled my creative self and it was starting to take a toll on me. My face was breaking out. I had strated eating like crap which made me feel like crap!
I knew I had to jump right in and get things straightened out. When I do creative work. I thrive. I don’t care what it is. It could be painting, writing, cooking, sewing - it’s like meditation.
So last month I got back to regular gym dates and it felt amazing! My body had missed those grueling sessions. Sometime last week during a cardio session, I found myself crying, the tear ducts must have exploded or something. It was like going through a cleanse.
Gosh, this has been one heavy post. I should be celebrating and talking about - fun stuff but this is where I come to lay it down. The last couple of posts felt bla! I felt bla writing them.
No one teaches us how to grieve. Yes, there books about it, and counselors but the whole experience is singular. The grief path is mine to walk alone. No one can understand it. No one can walk it with you.
Time, your told, is your friend.
What you are not told is the many times memories will surface and catch you unawares.
Or the time that you will see someone resembling your brother across the street that made your heart almost skip a beat.
Or the time you want to make a phone call because something amazing happened but there is no one on the other side of the phone.
Or the time a joke you laughed about makes an appearance, and you start laughing and crying at the same time and people around you wonder if you are ok.
Or the time you are deleting your old voicemails and you come across one that remind you of his voice then you wonder what made you so busy -you missed that call.
Or old text messages.
Or that every time you log in on Netflix, you will see his profile, and he won’t text you on a random day to remind him the password.
And since Kim took some my pictures in the early years of this blog, I do remember the times he would drive me to a location I had spotted. He was more hype than me! Man, he treated them like a shoot on a major magazine. Couldn’t wait for the day!
The things that seemed so banal, I would do anything to go through them one more time.
We do not understand how little time we have until life reminds us how fleeting our mortality is.
Oh, I will do it tomorrow. What if tomorrow never comes?
When I started this blog I had reservations. I doubted myself but I got it started anyway.
There have been many lessons, growth, and amazing opportunities - and it will only get better!
Go head and do what you would like to do.
Most of the times, we are worried about what people will say or do.
They don’t matter. Folks will have opinions about everything and anything. Do you!
I shared six things I have learnt over the years on my Instagram and I figured I might as well share them here.
1.Have fun - a must! I will stop blogging the day it stops being enjoyable.
2. Share what you love...tell stories. There is someone out there who will be encouraged or inspired by your stories. Go tell them.
3. Be humble and stay curious.
4. You are not competing with anyone but yourself. This one is major! Esp in the age of social media where you may feel your value is akin to the number of followers you may have amassed. The 300 followers do not make my content any less to anyone with 300K. Keep working on you and your craft. Growth is slow and gradual but consistency is everything. Darling, you are competing with yourself. Stay on course. Everyone is on their own lane.
5.Ask questions. The only way you will learn. Ask, Ask, Ask!
6. Stay true to self. I can’t emphasize how important this is. There is only one you. No one else has your ideas other than you. Make them happen. Don’t follow what everyone is doing. Everyone is never right. Remember that quote on being an original and not a copy?
I hadn’t intended to go all in on the motions but here we are. A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we were talking about loss and grieving and he asked me if I thought I was depressed. Perhaps.
I know I was going through some stages of it. Denial, anger, bargaining, annnddd depression is somewhere right there. I don’t think I want to sit still and figure this out by myself but I will keep you updated. I think it is important as a community to be able to talk about issues that we go through in life. I know for sure I am not alone.
On a POSITIVE note. I started a new job 2 months ago and it’s been a dream come true - at times have to pinch myself. I am currently working at CHANEL. I can’t say how excited I am about this journey!! Been a fan of mademoiselle Coco Chanel since time in memorial. In the early days of the blog, Coco Chanel’s quote was up there with the Anneconventional banner. See how the universe works? :)
Lastly, even though I know I am still going through the motions. The getting back up had to happen because the only way I can honor my biggest cheerleader and hypeman Kimnation is by doing what I always do best. Create. I know he is up there scream YEAHHHH!!!! Roshienation!!
Happy SIX and too many more!
As always, many thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you!
LADY IN RED
I have a serious obsession with the color red. I have no idea when it started or when it climbed the Bill Board Color chart to secure it's position at the top but it did. It has been there for a while, like a color king on the throne.
All the other colors revolve around the Royal highness Red. It's passionate, it's strong, it evokes danger, it can raise your respiratory rate, increase blood pressure, evoke other deep feeling. It tells you to proceed with caution. I mean, this color does the MOST! Color theorists went out of their way to define this color.
I wonder if it says something about me? Sort of like how people can define themselves using horoscopes. Mmh - food for thought!
This shoot happend as a "by the way." What do you mean by that?
Well, it's cold outside - I dread winter shoots - daylight is only 2.3 seconds in the winter. Jess, my photographer, who happens to live a few blocks away suggested we meet at a Target.
Great! I had a couple of items I needed to grab anyway, a blender bottle and some workout gloves since the ones I have been using were ripped to shreds. Night shoots are a given but opportunities do present themselves, In this case, a massive building that is well LIT! Hello tarr-jaayy!
Worked out perfectly in the end, which comes to show if an opportunity presents itself, take it! Even if sometimes it's in between the aisles.
ps: I ended up with more than two items on my cart. I saw a tweet went like this, when you go to target, you don't go there because you need something. Target will tell you what you need! .............Where is the lie?
PHOTOGRAPHY: JESSICA CURLDERON
Reversible jacket: Zara:
Dress: Zara
Tights: F21
Ankle Booties: Bershka
Cart: Target